I Have Asperger's

I learned something new the other day.  There are rational and irrational fears.  I mean, I KNEW this, but the problem was, I didn't know the difference.  Let me explain.

I have had a fear of bees for a long time.  When I was about 20 years old, my fear had turned into a full blown phobia, where I didn't feel safe under the covers of my own bed.  I went to get help, and found a great person who helped me to overcome my fear.  (Well, for the most part.)  Basically, I had exposure therapy to slowly get used to bees.  If I was just a little scared, I needed to try and handle it.  Like I said, this all worked, so I have been pretty happy for the past year or two.

Now, here comes the problem:

At my work, there was a bees' nest outside.  Most people may automatically think "okay, so, call the boss and tell them there's a problem that makes it unsafe to work".  However, I felt my fear of bees taking over, and I thought it was my phobia returning.  I thought "I have to try to handle this, because I'm a little scared."  I tried to work through this group of about 10 bees, but I couldn't.  I was so devastated, thinking that I would have to quit my job because I was too scared to work, I was in tears.  Finally, I asked the person who had helped me with my fear to help me again.  I was slightly surprised and VERY relieved to hear that I should call in about the nest, because it might be unsafe. I called in and explained to my boss about the situation, and they helped me to figure out the best, SAFE way to get the job done.  I admitted that I used to have a phobia about bees, and my boss jokingly replied "yeah, and now it's common sense!"

What's funny is that I didn't know it was common sense.  At least, not right away.  I'm so used to it being ME who has to deal with things, that I couldn't see when I DIDN'T have to deal.  I'm so used to having an irrational fear of bees, that I didn't recognize my body's (probably instinctive!) RATIONAL fear of a bees' NEST.

Now I know why I need people to support and coach me through things.  It's because sometimes, I really, truly just don't comprehend.  And if it were anyone else in my shoes, I would have told them it was an unsafe situation.  I have common sense, sometimes I just don't understand it.  (Try making sense of THAT statement!)