|Posted by Admin on August 12, 2012 at 10:00 AM|
There are times when I find myself curious as to the reason behind things. Why does that person feel the way they do? Why did that person decide on what they did? Why does that person want me to do something?
I'm not asking these questions to be defiant, or to be digging in someone's business, or to make them feel bad, or to be rude, or anything like that. I'm asking these questions because they are truly genuine questions. I'm trying to understand the world around me.
There was one time, when I was younger and undiagnosed, that a neighbor asked me to put their dog outside. It was a hot day, and I was enjoying the dog's company myself, so I wanted to know why they wanted their dog outside. I simply asked them "Why?" They glared at me, and replied "Because I SAID to." I got really scared because I felt their anger. At that point, I didn't know why they wanted the dog outside OR why they were mad. In the end, I stopped asking, confused and scared, and put the dog outside. I went home feeling terrible and lost.
I don't blame this person for yelling at me. They didn't understand ME either. When I got home that day, I asked my mom the questions instead. Why did this person want the dog put outside, and why did they get mad at me when I asked for the reason? At this point in my life, I think my mom was starting to see that I misunderstood the world. She didn't know that I had Aspergers yet, but she was working to figure out what was going on. So she knew that my questions were genuine. She explained to me that asking "Why" when an adult asks you to do something can be seen as defiant or rude. She told me that it was a miscommunication. She also told me that it wasn't my dog, so I need to listen to owners' requests. I understood all of this. But I still wish people wouldn't assume the worst with me.