I Have Asperger's

The unique perspective of the world through the eyes of a girl with Asperger's Syndrome

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Getting To Know People

Posted by Admin on March 24, 2012 at 10:40 AM

I don't know how long it takes to become an acquaintance.  I don't know how long it takes to become friends.  I don't know how long it takes to become REALLY GOOD friends.  I have Aspergers.


When I was in 6th grade, (about 12 years old) I took a picture of someone I knew from my yearbook, and put it in my locker.  This person's "best friend" became very upset.  I couldn't understand why.  It's still hard to understand completely, but I now have the idea that it's not okay.


It takes about a year for me to fully feel comfortable with someone.  Once I'm comfortable, I feel like I'm welcome to do whatever I please.  I know it's not always true, but I hope that my friendship will save any miss-communication that I happen to have.


It's hard to fully understand relationships.  It's probably why I'm single, and absolutely loving it.  (I have enough to take care of for myself!)  So, sorry guys and gals, but I'm not available!  I am, however, open to being a great friend!

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1 Comment

Reply rrc
03:57 AM on April 16, 2012 
I suppose I wouldn't want my picture up in someone's locker, but that's because I am a rather private person. I think I would at least feel somewhat flattered, though rather uncertain. And I suppose I can understand why having someone else put up a picture of my best friend in their locker might upset me too (i have always felt a little sad when I hear about my friends' other friends, considering that I have a limited circle of companions myself, though I am still happy for them), but I don't really get it either. It sounds a bit clingy to me.

Anyway, I understand what you mean; I used to have several friends I would spend time with somewhat regularly. One girl was quiet and did not relate her personal interests or anything of the like. Though I adored her, I still did not feel a personal connection the same way I would a great or even very good friend.

The "one year rule" is, coincidentally, a rule I also have. Unless a persons truly clicks with me instantly, or vise versa, I feel as if I must have at least a year to get to know them, at which point, upon completion, we should be at least good friends or not friends at all. That it why my relationship with the girl I afore mentioned was so vexing to me-- I had not category in which to place the friendship, and thus, did not know how to reasonably react to her when we interacted, when I was to attend her birthday party, when I bought her Christmas presents, etc.