I Have Asperger's

The unique perspective of the world through the eyes of a girl with Asperger's Syndrome

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Aspergers as an Excuse

Posted by Admin on September 10, 2012 at 11:00 AM

I hate "using" my Aspergers diagnosis as an "excuse".  I don't want people to think I'm trying to get the easy way out, or not taking responsibility for my actions.  I try not to take more help than I need, or ask for unnecessary accommodations.  I will apologize for my wrong doings, and try everything in the world to make it right.  However, I'm starting to notice that there are times when people are unfairly mad at me for things that I struggle with.  It could be misunderstanding someone, it could be forgetting social etiquette, reacting to hypersensitivities or just being unaware of what's going on or how to deal with something.  First, I will have to try and explain that I'm struggling with something, and the person must know already that I have Aspergers.  If not, I will politely tell them that I do.  When people are unfairly mad at me for these things, however, I feel it is fair for me to "play the Aspergers card".  This means REMINDING them that I have Aspergers, and that I will always work on these weaknesses that I have, but for them to be upset with me for being unable to explain my actions to them other than that I have Aspergers, they need to cut me SOME slack.  I hardly EVER "use" my Aspergers as an "excuse", so when I do, I hope people realize that it's seriously a struggle for me to explain something.

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7 Comments

Reply anonymousaspie
11:46 AM on September 10, 2012 
Its a hard line to walk. AS isn't an easy way out but I know other people may see it that way. I have trouble in that I'm not diagnosed yet but still have similar issues, but I can't use the Aspie Card even if I want to as I can't back it up. V. Frustrating
Reply Cassandra
4:57 PM on September 10, 2012 
I have a lot of the same issues, but my main problem is trying to tell my mother that I have aspergers. I don't think she believes there is anything wrong with me, but seriously, I'm 20, I have like two friends, I don't socialize with people my age or in my age range, and several other "issues". I have tried to tell her before, but she shut me down and told me that there is nothing wrong with me. I don't know what to do, or how to get her to listen to me or believe me. Any ideas?
Reply Admin
8:10 PM on September 10, 2012 
Cassandra says...
I have a lot of the same issues, but my main problem is trying to tell my mother that I have aspergers. I don't think she believes there is anything wrong with me, but seriously, I'm 20, I have like two friends, I don't socialize with people my age or in my age range, and several other "issues". I have tried to tell her before, but she shut me down and told me that there is nothing wrong with me. I don't know what to do, or how to get her to listen to me or believe me. Any ideas?


Try to get to a psychologist or doctor who may be able to diagnose you. I'm sorry to hear about such struggles. Just remember, there is nothing WRONG with you, you are just different and need some extra help in different areas. Thanks for the comment, and good luck!
Reply Cassandra
2:49 PM on September 11, 2012 
I've seen a psychologist and was diagnosed in May, that was my third diagnosis with my first diagnosis being Selective mutism... Honestly, if she never believes me that's something I can live with because I know that even though she may not believe me I truly feel like she just is in denial. She makes my life easier when I'm in difficult social situations or when we are just out to dinner. So even if she stays in denial, I think it will be okay. Thank you!
Reply Fuel
12:20 AM on September 12, 2012 
I never blame aspergers or use it as an excuse for anything. For that matter, I don't even tell most people I have it. Because if you do....the neurotypicals will begin to discriminate against us. A stereotype will spread against us, and life will get even more difficult than you might think that it already is.
Google the pbs news hour. Just the other day they had an interesting segment about a program in a Pennsylvania elementary school for asperger children.
Reply Admin
10:52 PM on September 15, 2012 
Fuel says...
I never blame aspergers or use it as an excuse for anything. For that matter, I don't even tell most people I have it. Because if you do....the neurotypicals will begin to discriminate against us. A stereotype will spread against us, and life will get even more difficult than you might think that it already is.
Google the pbs news hour. Just the other day they had an interesting segment about a program in a Pennsylvania elementary school for asperger children.


Hey, thanks for the comment and for sharing the information about the PBS News Hour segment. Really awesome! :)
Reply Myrtonos
2:20 AM on October 4, 2012 
"I hate "using" my Aspergers diagnosis as an "excuse". " An excuse for what? Would you ever use it as an (explicit or implicit) excuse for claiming high ground, an example is claming you are more peceptive than non-autistic peolpe, even ones that might have jobs dealing with industry costings.