I Have Asperger's

When people ask me to do something and I make up an excuse not to do it, I'm not making up the excuse because I'm being lazy (most of the time).  I'm usually making up the excuse because I don't know how to explain that if I push myself to do any more at that moment, or to do what has been asked of me, I may end up in a meltdown.  It may be because I'm feeling overwhelmed, or because the job you have asked me to do effects me some way.  Maybe the sound of the job hurts my ears, or maybe it's visually overwhelming, or perhaps I'm not focusing well enough to accomplish the task in a reasonable amount of time.  There are so many factors that go in to my decision of doing something.  If I was able to, I would help out everyone all of the time.

Today is Mother's Day, which makes this idea even more difficult for me.  My Mom asked me if I wanted to help put down mulch in the yard.  My "excuse" was that I didn't have the right clothing for the job.  My Mom knew better.  She didn't know WHY I didn't want to do help, but she wasn't expecting me to agree to it.  I still don't know exactly why I couldn't help today.  Was I thinking about the insects that would be buzzing in my ears?  The feeling of the dirt or gritty gloves on my hands?  Not knowing exactly how long it would take?  All of these factor in.  But my Mom is amazing, and she knows it.  She realized that even though I couldn't help her with the yard, I DO still love her very much.